Dealing with Disagreement

Imagine for a moment that the Christian life on earth is like a free-way, big multilane road where the is constant movement forward, and along the way there are "on ramps" where there are new people coming on. You will travel alongside other Christians for a time, but they may slow down, or speed up, and, one day God will call them home and they will take their exit.

 

Many of us have hoped on this freeway at different times. There are those who have been on this road as long as they can remember, there are those who are just learning to drive, and there are those who travelled a great number of other roads before finding this one.

 

One of the challenges faced in Christian community is that although we're all here in this moment, on the road, that doesn't mean we're all exactly aligned. Even though you take a snapshot of any church today, it is only one moment in time of a complex web of relationships, history and trajectory. Like taking a snapshot of a pod of cars on the freeway. It's a trap to think that because you're here with me on this journey right now, that you have exactly the same experiences and convictions that I have.

 

One of the perpetual problems for church from the very beginning is learning to get along, learning to be kind and understanding with people who share the same path, and share the same Lord, but don't see eye to eye on all issues.

 

Let's review three ways that the New Testament teaches us to deal with disagreement as we travel down the road together..

 

 

Heresy or Open Sin

The first is the easiest to figure out. When contention arises on the part of unrepentant sin or false teaching (heresy), you kick the offender out of the church. Obviously that's not where we start, we start with gentle encouragements, private discussions and lots of prayer. The aim, whenever we fall into disagreement, is to win hearts to Christ.

 

Sadly in history we can see many bad examples of this playing out, including neglecting this important work altogether, or examples of being overhasty and needlessly harsh with excommunication. So before we ever get any where near the hard consequences, we follow an escalating pattern of pleading for their repentance.

 

In this way the disagreement is either resolved with repentance & restoration, or spiritual exile.

 

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." (Mt 18:15–17).

 

"If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed." (Ga 1:9).

 

(Heresy is when somone opposes or rejects a core tenant of the Christian faith, such as denying the divinity of Jesus, or teaching that Jesus didn't have a real physical body.)

 

 

The Weaker Brother

The next type of disagreement to crop up are matters of spiritual immaturity. This means there is a brother or sister in Christ, who is trying to serve Jesus faithfully, but they're convinced on extra-biblical teaching.

 

Paul gives a good treatment of this issue in 1 Corinthians. He uses the example of a somone who is convinced that food offered to idols is really truly dedicated to the idol god, and by extension not good for Christians to eat. In this situation, this guy is wrong, food offered to idols is fine for Christians to eat (because idols are nothing, and God made the food). However, even though this person is in the wrong, Paul advises other believers to accommodate the weaker brother so as not to wound his conscience.

 

What's more, Paul goes on to say it is sin to show off your Christian liberty to the weaker brother. You may have the right under God to enjoy any number of good things, and know that it is good, but if enjoying them is to the detriment of other beleivers, then we put these enjoyments aside for the aske of others. It is a sacrificial love.

 

"...by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ." (1 Co 8:11–12).

 

"All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbour." (1 Co 10:23–24).

 

So when these issues arise, the first port of call is to lovingly meet each other in gracious accommodation. Now once there, then we lovingly show from the scriptures why we beleive and act the way we do.

 

We all like to think of ourselves as the "stronger" brother or sister in matters of conscience, but we should have the humility to suggest that we might be in the wrong. Even in areas where we are very confident about what we beleive, or how we should live, we should still be willing to examine those convictions in light of scripture. What is there to loose? Either you will be confirmed in the truth, or you will have your beliefs adjusted to come into closer alignment with Jesus Christ! Win-win!

 

I have had my scriptural convictions challenged over the years, and I have moved from where I once was. I am not proud of some of the things I used to say and beleive, but it is better for each of us to grow through our mistakes, than to stay in comfortable ignorance.

 

Now, it may be that you show from the Bible why somebody should beleive and live as you do, but they don't get on board. You remain at odds over this particular topic, but that doesn't mean you part ways, it means that we accommodate the other. We show love by not forcing that person to forsake their conscience. It may be in time that they come around, but pushing and flaunting will only turn them off.

 

An associated issue is that when we are in conversation with others, we should refrain from shutting the other down when they talk about ideas or things we disagree with. If our aim is to move our fellow Christian closer to Christ, then we need to make space for discussion and reflection. For instance, if someone were to say "You shouldn't eat meat sacrificed to idols" it would be unhelpful to respond with "That's not true" or "You're wrong". Both of these things may be true, but they don't win your sister over. Instead I would recommend saying something like "Why do you beleive that?" or "I'm not sure that's true, can you show me where it says that in the Bible?"

 

I'm guilty of being slow to listen, quick to speak, and quick to slam down the portcullis around my convictions. Yet, this way of acting toward my fellow Christian is not conducive to growth, understanding and unity. I hope by God's grace that we may joyfully welcome opportunities to explore God's truth together.

 

 

Disputable Matters

The last type of disagreement I wanted to cover is over disputable matters - that is things where the perspicuity (clearness) of scripture seems to give way to a mysterious opaque. It's not something where maturity is likley to clear up the issue. It's stuff where God's word is either silent, or inconclusive.

 

When disagreements arise over this stuff, the first thing we should ask is: "Is it important?" There are a whole bunch of spiritual topics that are nice to ponder, to try and logically fit the pieces together, but they may be unimportant, or at least not important enough to cause strife and division. Paul writes to Titus: "Avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless." (Tt 3:9). Stuff that is not clear in Scripture, and has little to no bearing on our faith, should be so far down the list of our priorities, and if the issue escalates to controversy and quarrelling, then avoid them.

 

But there are other matters, that are important enough to warrant our attention but not clear enough to warrant allegations of heresy if we disagree. The classic one is baptism; who should receive the sign? The scriptures have stuff to say on the issue, but it does not have a definitive answer that silences any objection.

 

In cases like this, we are left to examine the scriptures, prayerfully consider the issue before God and lightly hold onto the answer we beleive to be true. We will find out the truth in due time, but in the mean time it is not worth causing strife over the inconclusive.

 

One temptation, in the sea of different Christian denominations and sects, is to suggest that almost everything is a disputable matter. Well no, for starters Bible believing Christians share the vast majority of their beliefs in common, and when you get into it, you'll see there are far fewer disputable matters than you think. It is easy to assert "that's just your interpretation" on any doctrine, but this line is usually just thrown out to shut down a line of discussion. When seriously considered in light of the whole of scripture, and listening to historical wisdom, most issues can be sorted conclusively.

 

Another temptation is to think that the very fact of disagreement is a problem. It is possible to have a loving brotherly disagreement over a matter of faith or Christian living without it being an attack on the unity of the body. Iron sharpens iron, and the process of sifting one another's ideas in the light of scripture is a natural part of church life. We see this in action in the Bereans, who sifted the teaching they heard in light of the scripture (Acts 17:11). We work toward agreement through this process, but when this starts to cause strife or division, then we have a problem.

 

 

And there you have it: 3 ways we deal with disagreement. Because we are all different people who have come from different places and have different levels of maturity, we will inevitably run into issues, however care must be taken to pursue love, unity and spiritual growth in Jesus Christ for his glory and our collective good.

 

"I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment." (1 Co 1:10).

 

"Let all that you do be done in love." (1 Co 16:14).